


Goodbye

by Kr1411



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Depressed!Barry, M/M, Oliver needs to be a better boyfriend smh, TW - Suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kr1411/pseuds/Kr1411
Summary: After Flashpoint, with Cisco constantly reminding him of his wrongs, and Oliver shutting him out, Barry’s finally had enough. He couldn’t do this anymore.





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> November 16, 2017. The date I wrote this. I’m posting a bunch of my old drafts these next few days, so bear with me.

He couldn’t do it anymore. He just couldn’t.

After Flashpoint, with Cisco constantly reminding him of his wrongs, Barry’s finally had enough.

Sure, he had a wonderful boyfriend, who he wouldn’t trade the world for, but that was the only real good thing in his life. But with Prometheus and Tobias Church running around, bringing Oliver’s spirits down, he was starting to feel like he was just a distraction.

When the invasion happened, and Cisco outed him in front of everyone, he was crushed. Everyone hated him now. Sure, Kara said she didn’t, but she was too nice to admit she did.

After the invasion happened, and Oliver accidentally killed Felicity’s boyfriend, he started cutting everyone out of the world, including his boyfriend.

When Oliver started sleeping on the couch was when Barry had enough. But instead of confronting Oliver like a normal person, he wrote a note.

_Oliver,_

_I understand that killing Billy has taken a toll on you, but you’re my rock. You’re all I’ve got left, and you’re shutting me out, and thus taking away my only reason to live._  
This isn’t your fault. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, I just chose now to do it. I love you more than life itself, more than the world, the galaxies, the stars. I love you more than I love being the Flash. But I can’t take this anymore.  
I know we said we’d be together until the day we die, and that day has come sooner than we’ve expected.  
Don’t forget, I love you so much. Don’t let me be a burden anymore.  
Love,  
Barry.

Barry left the note on his pillow, after making the bed look brand new. Barry went out and got… _stole_ a 10-foot long rope, and tied it into a noose. Soon enough, all this pain would be gone…

\-----

Oliver heard Barry flash out and back into their apartment, and he decided to check out what was wrong. Of course, he needed some time to wake up, seeing as he was just asleep.

About five minutes later, Oliver finally got up and made his way to their bedroom, the one he’d been avoiding.

It wasn’t Barry’s fault he left the bedroom, not at all. He just felt guilty, he killed the one Felicity loved, what if he accidentally killed the one he loved? And in this line of work, that was very possible.

When he found the bed made all nice and neat, with a note laying atop of it, he immediately knew something was wrong.

Did Barry finally leave him? Was he so bad of a boyfriend that Barry couldn’t break up with him in person?

When Oliver read the note, he nearly went into a panic attack.

“ _Barry? Barry?_ ” He screamed, rushing to the bathroom with tears in his eyes. When he didn’t find Barry in the bathroom, he immediately checked their closet.

What he saw, he could never unsee.

Oliver immediately lifted Barry up, trying to preserve any airways that weren’t crushed, while checking his pulse.

_There was no pulse._

Oliver took Barry out of the rope, thanking god that Barry sucked at tying knots, and checked his breathing, only to let out a mix between a sob and a scream upon discovering there was none.

He dialled Caitlin’s number as fast as he could, while pushing breath into Barry’s mouth. He gently felt Barry’s neck, knowing full well that was the /opposite of what he was supposed to do, to make sure it was broken. Luckily, it wasn’t broken. Oliver decided he was never going to teach Barry how to tie knots - his lack of knowledge had saved his life… hopefully.

 _Hello? Oliver? Is everything ok?_ ” Caitlin asked, once she picked up.

“B-Barry… he h-hung himself, he’s not breathing,” Oliver sobbed, and he could hear Caitlin gasp across the line.

“I-I’ve been breathing for him, but I’m not sure w-what to do,” Oliver said, tears flowing down his face.

 _“Try to get his heart beating again, I’m on my way,_ ” Caitlin said, and Oliver hung up.

He pressed against Barry’s chest, trying to give him CPR. He pumped his boyfriends chest ten times, before breathing in his mouth. He repeated the process as much as he could, but Barry wouldn’t come back to him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Barry, I should’ve been better to you,” Oliver sobbed, all while trying to get Barry’s heart beating. He checked Barry’s wrist for a pulse, and sobbed louder when there was still nothing.

Caitlin decided then would be a good time to show up, portable defibrillator in hand. “Move, Oliver,”  
she said, as she began setting it up. Oliver nodded and moved out of the way, biting his nails in stress.

 _This is all my fault, I wasn’t there for him, if I was he would be alive_ , Oliver thought to himself.

Caitlin called out the charge she set the electricity at, and shocked Barry. Once. Twice. Nothing.

“How king has he been like this?” Caitlin asked, before trying again. Oliver shrugged.

“At least five minutes,” he said, not sure when Barry actually hung himself.

Caitlin nodded, taking a mental note of that. “Oliver, I can try one more time, but I might have to call it,” she said with remorse, and Oliver shook his head. “No, he will survive, he /has to,” he said, almost pleadingly. Caitlin sighed.

“Charging up to 400 volts,” she said, before shocking Barry one last time.

“Cmon, Barry, stay with me,” Oliver said, moving up to grab Barry’s hand.

 _Please don’t leave me,_ he silently pleaded. He didn’t know what he would do without his boyfriend. All he knew now, was his boyfriend was in great danger and he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Should I kill Barry or nah?  
> -  
> I have feelings. They take over my body and kill me from the inside. That is why I chose to post this specific draft. My outlet is gone (temporarily, hopefully, but still) and the world is slowly crashing down on me from sports and school and just life in general. I need to get this off my chest in some way, so why not tell thousands of strangers my feelings? There you go.


End file.
